Feb 28

On this day 86 years ago in a small town in Germany my Grandma Russell was born. I smile when I think about how excited I was when Grandma would come to visit her east coast grandchildren. She would make us bread and homemade jam during her visits to see us, that was one of my favorite things about her visit.

When Lilly was a new baby and Jim was gone every night waiting tables, I would call my Grandma regularly to find out more about her. I asked her questions about her life in Germany as a young girl, her ride across the ocean to the states, her courtship with my Grandpa during WWII, and her marriage that lasted over 60 years. She was still very lucid and told me great stories.

Here are my grandparents in Milwaukee
This is my grandma on her wedding day. She hated those flowers because they hid her beautiful dress and small waist.

Since my Grandpa died my Grandma has slowly deteriorated and is now living in a nursing home with alzheimer's. I used to be scared to talk to my Grandma for fear that she would not remember me. Now I realize that even though she doesn't remember me, I still remember her. I called her to say "Happy Birthday and I love you." That did my heart good. I also figured out if I say "Hi Grandma" really loud she knows enough not to say 'who are you.'

My Grandma was an avid knitter and loved to bake bread. We are connected through needles and dough - I love that.

My great-grandmother was a wonderful seamstress and supported her family by sewing when they immigrated to the U.S. from Germany. That talent skipped a generation and landed on my mom, who is also an incredible sewer. The knitting skipped my mom and hit me. I love that we're all connected through a craft that transcends the generations.

I think this picture is of my grandma's family 'along the way to the Salt Lake temple' before my grandparents got married. Is that true Russell family?

My Grandma still has some of her spunk left. She said "Yeah you knit, but not like me, you knit the American way." I just thought 'ok grandma, whatever you say.' Then when I got off the phone I remembered a German lady who came into my yarn shop to show us the German way of knitting which was much faster than the American way (according to her). I could hear in her voice over the phone that she also thought the American was inferior. That makes me smile.

Happy Birthday Grandma.

Snow Day = Project Overload

We have a snow day today and Lilly has a stomach bug, which means we are inside for the long haul. It's days like today that make me go crazy for projects. I think I subscribe to a few too many craft blogs because every day I find more and more projects I want to take on. Below are some of the latest projects I want to embark on (with links to the tutorials and website that I found them on). I also need to feed my children, clean my house, and finish all my other projects which include but are not limited to: mittens; owl paintings; hat for brian; other leg warmer; curtains for my room; repainting Lilly's room; corkboard for jewelery; and decorating Jackson's room.

Here are the projects that I want to add to that list:

These are crocheted garden tie-backs that I want to make for Lilly's curtains on her closet.

http://littlecherrytops.typepad.co.uk/files/garden-tie-backs.pdf

Cards made with leftover yarn, I definitely have that!

http://www.marthastewart.com/article/yarn-embellished-cards?xsc=eml_crd_2010_02_25

Fabric silhouette

http://curbly.com/tags/silhouettes

I will probably just stick with cleaning, eating, and napping today, and choose one project to work on. Paired with keeping sick Lilly away from healthy Jack and maybe some of this:

Day 23 - Don't give up now

I'm in the home stretch for February, almost done with the month and almost 30! I finished my mitten today and started working on the lining. The olympics are more than half done but my project is less than half finished. Oh well, that is what the Olympics are all about, right? Pushing yourself further than you thought you could go. Although since I am a mother of two I can't control the amount of time I get to devote to my project, not sure I can crank out that other mitten by Sunday. It's amazing the first one is finished. Maybe I can just wear this one and then put the other hand in my pocket. Maybe I will put this mitten in a frame and hang it on the wall.

Some other women at the knitting shop are working on these as well. We are all concerned about losing one or both of our handmade mittens. How many times have you lost a mitten or glove? I think if I do finish the other mitten I am going to sew them onto a shirt. Then whenever I want to wear them I will wear the shirt with the mittens sewn on, thus removing the risk of losing them.

In the world of children.....

I left the baby on a nice blanket while I went into the other room. I came back less than 2 minutes later to find them both watching TV.

Happy

Day 19 - An essay on Mom Guilt and Soup

I read a blog post today about my friend's bedtime routine for her children. It was a pretty great bedtime routine with singing, stories, laughter, and happiness. As I was reading it I was struck with MOM GUILT.

Our bedtime routine is occasionally happy but more often than not it is rather atrocious. Occasionally the night ends with me saying "Get in bed and I don't want to see you until morning!" Nothing says sweet dreams like "get out of my face because I will lose it if you don't." I don't ever say those words, but I feel that message comes across.

After I read my friends blog I sunk into mom guilt. Thinking about what a terrible mom I am and pondering the psychological damages of my lack of parenting skills, specifically at bed time.

Then I had a wonderful moment, I remembered earlier in the week a glimmer I had that confirmed to me that I am a good mom too.

The story goes like this: Jim was feeling sick and the only thing he wanted to eat was fast food or soup. Since it was 10pm and I didn't want to go find fast food I found a can of soup in the back of my cupboard. I warmed it in the microwave, and voila, soup from a can. Around the same time Lilly wandered out of her room with insomnia and hunger. She looked at Jim's soup and said "I want that soup that you made." I told her there was only one can of soup and her dad had taken it all. She looked at me again and said "No, I want the soup that you made, you know that you made."

The it dawned on me, she assumed that I had made the soup from scratch and that there was a big pot of it on the stove. She has never has soup from a can because I make homemade soup almost twice a week, with homemade bread.

This is a special mom thing I do and my daughter thinks its normal to have soup and bread from scratch.

I don't make soup and bread out of guilt. I make it because I like to eat it and so does my family. Period.

I then realized that the best things in my life happen when I do them out of desire and love, not out of mom/blog guilt.

Next time I am struck with the case of mom guilt, I am going to think about my soup. I am going to remember that when Lilly is grown with her own family she might think back on her mom who made soup from scratch, and maybe she will be impressed, and maybe not. It doesn't matter if she is or isn't because I do it for myself and that makes me happy.

Day 18 - Looking up

Well February is looking up, only because it is almost over. 10 days left! Which also means it's the final countdown to my birthday.

I called Jim and left him a message at work to remind him that my birthday is coming up and that I have really high expectations.

This week I am focusing on sprucing up our home. Jack has been living in squalor, a nursery/office/library is not the most welcoming space for him. My new project is to make his room HIS room. I am trying to get all the other junk out of there. This is proving to be rather challenging.

My sister helped me out by suggesting that I put the computer on my counter in the kitchen. This is where it now sits and so far I love it. Although it seems like it's opening Lilly up to constantly interrupt me when I am on the computer, maybe a good thing?

Mittens are coming along, I am still committed to my goal to finish them before the olympics are over.

Day 14-17 Half way there

Jack has decided he doesn't like to sleep, especially at night. Although he does like to grab onto things, a fact we discovered yesterday.