Briar.

This past Sunday, after my unsuccessful nap time, I played with the children in the basement where I came across Briar and Julia.

Lilly received Briar on her first Christmas from Jim's brother Karl.  This became THE doll for Lilly. She loved many dolls and stuffed animals, but this was her special doll.  For awhile the doll was named "baby" and baby went everywhere with us.  Eventually Lilly named her doll Briar after my friend's baby.  Briar has been lost and re-found and I believe even re-purchased due to a permanent loss.  Lilly rarely let Briar wear her clothes and she took Briar everywhere.

I can't remember how Briar got phased out.  I don't remember when Lilly stopped sleeping with her or needing her.  Perhaps it was when Jack was born and I missed the transition in my postpartum fog.  I know that Briar was lost for about a month when we moved into this house and she was eventually found at the bottom of a blanket basket.  Maybe that was the start of the transition.

When I found Briar on Sunday, Lilly said "I don't really like that doll anymore so we can give it away."  I instantly had tears in my eyes and turned my head away so she couldn't see me cry.

She knew I was sad so she sad, "I just like special dolls better, but we can keep the doll here for you Mom."   Briar has been replaced by American Girl dolls, which do not get the same love and affection as Briar once did. When she does play with the "special" dolls it is to do their hair or change their clothes.  Gone are the days of lining up the dolls and having elaborate conversations and games.  She doesn't even make much time for her American Girl dolls either. She is so busy with school and playing with friends.

For now, Briar is in the basket with Julia and the other cast off stuffed animals that I am not ready to part with her.